Sigh.

Haiz. Grandfather passed away on tues at 11.55am. Sensed that something was wrong when i kept receiving phone calls from my grandparents place during lectures. In the end, turned out to be true. Have been tired but not sleeping well because i have the belief that the spirit will linger on after a person passes away. 2 days before a cockroach suddenly landed on my cushion in the middle of the night. Took the cushion and threw it on the floor. Took me quite some time to calm down and convince myself that everything was all right before i went back to sleep. Then last nite a beetle or moth landed on my neck while i was going to sleep. Haiz. Felt so afraid. Could not sleep again and when i finally slept i think it was close to 4.30am. Woke up at 8am and went to school. Had test today but felt so tired that i wasnt reading the questions properly and could not finish a 15m question. Sigh. Just what is wrong with me?

Despite reminding myself that i should stop all this last min studying, this was exactly what i did yesterday. Just that yesterday was really the ultimate. I woke up at 10am and chionged all the way, reading up notes ever since the semester started in Aug. That was around 12 sets. When i finally finished pass midnight, i really had no time to practise. Sigh. Took out Joyce test paper and tutorial to look through and was so glad i did cos 2 test qns were quite similar to hers.

Then today lecturer went through the organic test. Haiz so dead bcos i got almost everything wrong. Possibility of getting less than 30/100 is 100%. All due to last min studying again. Have never been doing any tutorials during weekends with all the tuitions. Seriously too tired to do anything after that. Passing this module seems like quite far fetched now. Really do not know how to go about studying it. Had more than 1 week to study for the test but i think nothing went into my brain again.

Kelvin also had a test today and he looked so demoralised after that. Much more demoralised than me. Then we had a discussion about studying smart instead of studying hard and how we should change our study patterns to do better in our studies. Just hope that with our love and support for each other, everything will turn out to be fine at the end of this semester. Feel so so drained now...i just feel like sleeping. But there is so much more stuff to do, and i think i can finally take a short break only after the cremation on sat. But yet after that there's econs test to study for. When will all this work end?